If I ever saw myself saying I'm excited going to Cleveland, I'd punch myself in the face, because I'm lying.

Today's title comes, of course, from Ichiro's famous lambasting of Cleveland, Ohio, home of Progressive (formerly Jacobs, named after the current Marlins first baseman, perhaps?) Field and the second stop on my stadium tour. I'm transmitting my thoughts via World Wide Web from Lakewood, just outside of Cleveland.

In order to fulfill the conditions of my parole, as well as my love of public service, I'll review the ballpark. But I'm going to call it Jacobs Field. So, without further ado, let's get to the nasty.

Jacobs Field opened in the early 90's, a few years after Oriole Park at Camden Yards in Baltimore (as long as I can remember). I'm not 100% sure why, but I feel very much like Camden started the idea of getting ballparks away from boring, drab, cookie-cutter stadiums and going back to the olden times or forward to the 21st Century. Any look is better than the Shea Stadium/Philadelphia Veterans Stadium look of the 60's/70's.

While Camden Yards sought progress through embracing the looks of the old-time ballparks, Jacobs Field sought progess through a new look, which has now become relatively commonplace. Like Camden Yards, PNC, Citizen's Bank and many others, visitors to Jacobs Field are treated to a view of the city's skyline. This is a great feature and one that I know my friend Craig favors.

There is a nice little Indians Hall of Fame section near the entrance to the park (which is in the outfield, kind of like the new Nationals Park). One thing I will complain about is that we came into the Stadium while the first inning was just beginning and as we were walking to our seats (watching Vlad Guerrero bat) an usher told us we had to walk to our seats from the inside, where we couldn't actually watch the game.

Cleveland was an okay city, probably not quite as bad as Ichiro would have you believe, but there also wasn't an incredible amount going on for a Friday night. $4 32 oz. Labatt Blues at the Winking Lizard is a nice touch. Oddly, it seems like no one in Cleveland knows how to cross the street, because there seem to be cops on every corner. It's sort of like being in elementary school.

Jacobs Grades:

Biggest advantages: Nice park, Good area nearby to hang out, Cheap parking
Biggest drawbacks: Not quite as nice as some of the other new stadiums (still very nice)
Overall mark: B+

Up Next: Comerica Park in Detroit, Michigan